Tuesday, January 31, 2006

Never doubt the Word of God!!!

It is written in the Bible (Galatians 6:7): " Be not deceived; God is notmocked: for whatsoever a man so weth, that shall he also reap. Here are some men and women who mocked God:

JOHN LENNON:
Some years before during his interview with an American Magazine, he said:"Christianity will end, it will disappear. I do not have to argue aboutthat. I am certain. Jesus was ok, but his subjects were too simple, Todaywe are more famous than Him" (1966)".Lennon, after saying that the Beatles were more famous than Jesus Christ,was shot six times.

TANCREDO NEVES:
During the Presidential campaign, he said if he got 500 votes from hisparty, not even God would remove him from Presidency. Sure he got thevotes, but hegot sick a day before being made President, then he died.

CAZUZA:
During a show in Canecão ( Rio de Janeiro ), whilst smoking his cigarette,he puffed out some smoke into the air and said: God, that's for you.I can't even explain how he died.

THE MAN WHO BUILT TITANIC:
After the construction of Titanic, a reporter asked him how safe theTitanic would be. With an ironic tone he said: "Not even God can sink it"The result: I think you all know what happened to the Titanic.

MARILYN MONROE:
She was visited by Billy Graham during a presentation of a show. He is apreacher and Evangelist and the Spirit of God had sent him to preach toher.After hearing what the Preacher had to say, she said: "I don't need yourJesus" A week later, she was found dead in her apartment.

BON SCOTT:
The ex-vocalist of the AC/DC. On one of his 1979 songs he sang:"Don´t stop
\nme, I´m going down all the way, wow the highway to hell".\nOn the 19th of February 1980, Bon Scott was found dead, he had been choked\nby his vomit.\n\n\nCAMPINAS/SP IN 2005\nIn Campinas, a group of friends, drunk, went to pick up a friend. The\nmother accompanied her to the car and was so worried about the drunkenness\nof her\nfriends and she said to the daughter - holding her hand, who was already\nseated in the car: "MY DAUGHTER, GO WITH GOD AND MAY HE PROTECT YOU",\n\nShe responded: ONLY IF HE (GOD) TRAVELS IN THE BOOT, COZ INSIDE HERE IT\'S\nALREADY FULL"\n\nHours later, news came by that they had been involved in a fatal accident,\neveryone had died, the car could not be recognized what type of car it\nhad \nbeen, but surprisingly, the boot was intact.The police said there was no\nway the boot could have remained intact. To their surprise, inside the\nboot\nwas a crate of eggs, none was broken.\n\nMany more important people have forgotten that there is no other name that\nwas given so much authority as the name of Jesus. Many have died, but only\nJesus\ndied and rose again, and he is still alive. JESUS!!!

Tuesday, January 24, 2006

All in A Days of Work: The Printer Queue


I'm so serious at work today but there's something that made me laugh! I was moving so quickly nowadays that the printer's physical arrangement did change and also the way it outputs the paper. The other I already noticed that when I printed, it now outputs on the side trays and not on top a typical laser printer. Im so ashamed because I was standing for about 5 minutes already in the printer expecting the paper to come out at the top tray. But, this girl suddenly grabbed her printed paper that I barely noticed her waiting for the queue; only to notice that my printed stuff is already there! What could that girl be thinking! "Hey, it'll never come out there; here's your printed paper.", imagining her telling me but no, she ignored me. This could be because of too many restless and stressful days for the past weeks.

Saturday, January 21, 2006

Closing Interview at the Big A! : There is no point in developing a perfect product if there is no market

The past few days, I have been very busy with my work and extracurricular activities and
projects. One positive development is my working prototype in paypal payment system. I am
also happy that the online store we are planning to do with Carla in Cebu is getting
larger in the picture. Im also glad that my mother is really helping me. She is still the
best mother in the world! Yesterday, I taught my mother on how to use the email in the
Internet. Good thing she learns easily and she was actually fascinated about it.
Today at 3pm, I will be having my closing interview at the Accenture. I haven't been writing
any account before this closing/final interview since I presume that I may not be hired in
this company. This will be the deciding point on whether on they will give me a job offer or
not. Right now, Im searching the web on techniques for a successful interview.
Before this closing interview, I have undergone a phone interview last March 30, situational interview last April 6. I was actually wondering why they didnt give me a technical intrview
which really makes me think if it is positive or negative development. Imagine I didn't pass
through the technical interview which is personally for me is a complement.
Now that Im applying for a better job, I realized that I should get out of my house and
harness the power of networking with fellow professionals!
Phone Interview Questions:
- Programming Languages & Level of Expertise
Situational Interview Questions:
- What was the worst work experience you ever had?
Possible Closing Interview Questions:
- Tell me about urself?
* Mention Top 5 things this person should know about me:
1) Licensed Engineer, ECE, Cum Laude & DOST Scholar, experienced in networking and soft dev
and is very organized and unique person (myCD USB organizer)
2) Expert in networking network management systems (open source)
3) 4 years experience in networking, unix (linux/bsd), software development
4) Lead developer of NetMon Beta-1.0, MRTGViewer, Pawikan, PregiSMS (in-charge of the
network monitoring system of PREGINET at http://noc.pregi.net) & Team Leader of NetApps
5) Have traveled to other countries which are work-related and presented technical papers
- What advantage do I have compared with other applicants?
* Organized, Perseverance, Diligence, Ambitious, Full of Ideas, works long hours even without pay, can do anything, learns easily, adaptive person, respectful, wants to be
unique, develops tools that others are not using, prefers to learn advance systems,
possesses characteristics of a humble & model leader, experienced in working in a team
or big project, entrepreneural/business skills, hard working, competitive spirit, multi-
skilled(software/hardware), knows principles of every technology, serious worker,
disciplined employee, comes from an advanced R&D company, Unix geek, hacker, experienced
in communications and high technology, high level of education, outstanding academic
accomplishments, outstanding previous work accomplishments, flexibility, experience in
network applications development, experienced in project-based work, planning/hardwork
and determination(PhD), continuous education (CCNA), driven, motivated, and very innovative,
career-oriented, unique in different manners,
- Why would you want to transfer to Accenture?
* Career advancement, Gain more work experience and maturity, unleash new ideas
- What kind of job you want to do when you are employed in Accenture?
* R&D, solutions/software/system development in networking, Cisco networking, developing
software for network monitoring and management, installs/setup hardware/software systems
to customer premises, lead a big team of developers, propose new projects, train people,
fully utilize engineering and software skills, develop new technologies, consulting job,
analyzes current systems and design better systems, make my ideas happen, develop leader-
ship skills, improve systems and processes, integrate systems, write technical papers/books,
focus on communications and high technology, lead a network applications development team,
want to work with a diversity of people and professionals, develop existing talents while acquiring new skills and capabilities,
- What do I forsee 5 years from now?
* Developed new technologies, traveled to Asia
Pacific re-designing company systems, advanced career and professionalism in comm and tech,
established an online business, spawned new ideas into real projects & solutions and
built a house in the province for my family.
- How do you make yourself indispensable to a company?
* Taking fullcharge and leadership in one of the company's operations. Show them that
you can do anything for the company and bring honor and profit for the company.
- What's your greatest strength?
* I am a very organized and multi-tasking person. (show him myCD)
- What's your greatest weakness?
* I dont vices and can't get along easily with people with vices. But I usually get around
by giving them some time to join with them but not always.
- Tell me about a time when you had to accomplish a task with someone who was particularly difficult to get along with.
* When I was assigned a new Team Leader of NetApps and there was this team member who
opposes everything I say. But, I didn't give up. I showed that I am their leader and showed
that we have to work together to accomplish our common goals.
Interview Tips:
- Show "can do" attitude
- Show a calm, relaxed and confident look
- Eye contact
- Facial expressions (smiles)
- Posture
- Gestures (simple only)
- Whites and their Eyes Technique
- Nose in their Face
- confidence (leaning forward in chair)
- open/warmth (open lips/smiling)
- dont use "honestly"
- show & tell technique - show an example of your very best work (explain why)
- sneak preview
- raspberry fudge swirl in a plain vanilla world
- tell the interview that you are the right person for the job (belive in urself)
- visualization technique
- provide points on how the company can benefit from you
Personal preparations for the Closing Interview:
- know more about the company (what they do & where u would fit in)
- Ask interviewer what job am I being considered by Accenture?
ACCENTURE EMPLOYEES FEEDBACKS:
ACCENTURE


KENDRICK D. ADKINS
TITLE:
Partner and Chief Diversity Officer
EDUCATION:
B.S. Engineering, University of Michigan; Graduate School of Business, Accounting and Finance, University of Michigan
WITH COMPANY SINCE:
1976
ADVICE FOR NEW GRADUATES:
Planning, Hard work, and Determination.

How would you describe the work environment at Accenture?
I have always felt that work at Accenture has been extremely interesting and continuously challenging. You meet a lot of very, very talented individuals, and there is a great deal of appreciation for your skills. If I try to identify the word that is most descriptive, it would be "exciting." Part of the reason that I joined Accenture was because I was looking for something that I thought would provide a new challenge each day, and literally every day is different when you work here by virtue of the nature of the work that we do.
Why should ambitious, career-minded graduates target Accenture as a future employer?
Oh, very good question! For the opportunity for professional growth and skill development. One of the things that you will definitely get to do here at Accenture is to develop your existing talents while acquiring new skills and capabilities. I think it positions you extremely well if you hopefully stay with us or if at some point in your career you decide that you'd like to make a change.
What do people have to do in order to succeed at the company?
I believe that the first thing that an individual has to demonstrate is competence in the area that you work in. You have to demonstrate that you can do the work, that you can execute what's been asked. If it's technical, if it relates to supporting our infra-structure, if it relates to external marketing—you have to demonstrate competence. The second thing that I think becomes important is that in our organization you get responsibility so quickly that you have to show some level of acumen around managing people and managing somewhat complex environments to a solution. That becomes extremely important. Then, finally, I would say a third notion, and this is primarily for individuals who would like to eventually become a Partner—and everybody doesn't have to aspire to that, but if you want to be a Partner, you have to demonstrate a level of expertise where you can market and sell the capabilities of the company.
What do you think is unique about Accenture's diversity initiative? Why is it successful?
We are doing some things a little differently now that I think make us successful. We are spending a lot of time working with our senior leadership. That's not to say that we didn't have their interest and visibility before, but I spend the vast majority of my time working with our senior executives on diversity-related opportunities, such as recruiting and promotion—I'm proud to be responsible for all of the company's internal and external initiatives and programs related to the recruitment and retention of women and minorities. I report directly to our CEO, Joe Forehand, which speaks volumes as to the importance our company places on diversity. So it's about how we can significantly improve our ability to attract people and also see them grow in our organization.
Does Accenture have mentoring programs?
We do have a formal mentoring program that operates within each of our business units. There is also a dimension that I have introduced into our diversity program called sponsorship. A mentor is someone who will talk with you, coach you, and guide you. You can actually have multiple mentors, and that can be fabulous. But a sponsor is someone who will work with others on your behalf. What I have tried to do is to make sure that our minorities and women have good sponsors. So when it comes time to talk about salary increases or promotion or elevation to the next career level, people have the right kind of sponsorship network.
Do you have any advice for new graduates entering the workforce?
I respond with what I refer to as the PHD—not the doctoral Ph.D., but rather an acronym for Planning, Hard work, and Determination. First, in Planning, everyone needs to have a personal life recognizing that things won't always go your way or as planned, but staying focused and being determined to achieve your goals and objectives. plan. That plan can change, but it's important to have a direction that says, "In one year, this is what I would like to have accomplished; in three years, this is where I envision myself; in five years, this is where I would like to be." Secondly, Hard work: be prepared to invest in yourself. If that means working extra hours to really get good in a particular area, do it. Make a personal investment in developing your career and becoming really good at something. The last one is Determination, which to me is all about recognizing that things won't always go your way or as planned, but staying focused and being determined to achieve your goals and objectives.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
JEENA A. DARAMOLA
TITLE:
Consulting Analyst, Government
EDUCATION:
B.S. Systems and Computer Science, Howard University, 2002
WITH COMPANY SINCE:
October 2002
ADVICE FOR NEW GRADUATES: Be proactive!

ACCENTURE

Accenture is a global management consulting, technology services, and outsourcing company. Committed to delivering innovation, Accenture collaborates with its clients to help them become high-performance businesses and governments. With deep industry and business process expertise, broad global resources, and a proven track record, Accenture can mobilize the right people, skills, and technologies to help clients improve their performance.
EMPLOYEES: More than 80,000 people in 47 countries bring valued experiences and back-grounds to the company to help innovate and deliver results to our clients.
PROGRAMS FOR MINORITIES: Several programs at Accenture are designed to foster an inclusive culture, including diversity training, minority mentoring, women's initiatives, and local office diversity councils and events.
SEND RESUME TO: If you're in school, visit www.campusconnection.
accenture.com. If you have experience, visit www.careersusa.
accenture.com.
WEBSITE: www.accenture.com

Why did you make Accenture your career choice?
Well, I'd heard a lot of good things about Accenture through friends, because we were all searching for jobs at the same time. In May of 2002, it was very hard for new graduates to find employment, and basically I had to hustle. I just had to ask around—friends, family, church members—if they knew of anything that was available. I had interviewed with a lot of companies on campus and attended career fairs as well, but in my particular case, I would say networking was the key. I utilized contacts available to me at Howard and in turn, was able to get in touch with Howard alumni who worked for Accenture. Never underestimate the power of networking! I liked what I heard and the people I met throughout the interview process. It was a good match because I was looking for a company where I had the opportunity to be able to do multiple things.
What makes you proudest about working for Accenture?
It's the people really; that's what makes the company. That's really the driving force. There are so many people from so many different backgrounds who have such bright ideas, and you are putting all of these people on a team, and you come out with all of these great solutions. Being surrounded by this type of environment is really exciting to me. Everyone is driven, motivated, and very innovative. We are all coming from different backgrounds and we are all trying to reach that one goal, and that's to succeed as a company as well as on a personal level. To be a part of a team that helps create and helps a client set up new systems is really an accomplishment in itself—as is being able to say that you were a part of that, and that you worked with and met with so many different people during that experience. Not only "I was a part of that" but "Wow, I had a great time doing it too!"
Why do you think minority students have ranked Accenture as a top diversity employer?
Accenture has taken the effort to associate them-selves with minority groups and communities like NSBE (The National Society of Black Engineers) and the National Black MBA Association. We not only reach out to large organizations but come into smaller organizations and find diamonds in the rough. Accenture becomes involved with these groups, which helps bring in even more minority groups and diversity to the company.
Any words of advice to new graduates?
My advice would be to find a company where you feel most comfortable. You may have tons and tons of interviews, but if you don't feel that vibe from that company from the start, then it might not be the company where you will do well. You want to be able to feel as though you are a part of the group, and not that you were hired just because you are a minority—you are hired because of the abilities that you have and the skills you have gained throughout your years of school. I have found this at Accenture. Go with the company that recognizes your talent and not just the color of your skin. See if the company is open to your ideas on how to bring in more minorities. I believe that Accenture really relies on its employees and its people to help them towards becoming more diverse.
What does it take to succeed at Accenture?
You have to be proactive, because everyone here is at a top-notch level. Everybody is motivated, every-body is career-oriented, everybody is unique in their own manner. But if you show that you are proactive and that you are willing to help out in any form or fashion, I think you will be at your absolute best.
---------
It's 5:30pm and I have just eaten my snacks after that exhausting and tensed interview
with Mr. Chad Samaniego, Senior Manager of Accenture. The interview started at 3:06pm
and it lasted for about an hour. The end-result of the interview, I would say that I may
or may not be able to get an offer from them. Mr. Samaniego is a 12-year employee of
Accenture and has been so experienced in different fields just like me. He is a kind
person and he even apologized for being late for 6 minutes. He first noticed my USB flash
drive and asked if it is a wireless card. The interview is in a small room at the 30th
floor of one of the highest buildings in Makati, the GT International Tower wherein
25-30th floors are being leased by Accenture. As I entered the building, I was so nervous
because it is the most grandeus interview i ever had. Imagine being booked for an interview
in the central business district and in the nerve of the Accenture business. Throughout
the interview, I get the chance to know more about accenture.
Accenture is a consulting, outsourcing and solutions provider which has worldwide clients.
There are two major bodies working for Accenture, the Delivery and the Consulting. The
consulting is the one that talks with the clients and markets Accenture's business offerings.
The Delivery is the one that does whatever projects being contracted to Accenture. The
Delivery consists of SI (Systems Integration), Applications Maintenance, and ____?____.
The SI group focuses on developing systems for a specific client in the US or in other
countries. The Applications Maintenance group does relatively simple job of maintaining
a customer's applications or systems which may be done remotely through a network from
the remote client to the Accenture. The SI consists of team of developers, team of testers,
and a team of architect/designers. The architects/designers takes responsibility on
designing the network part of the project or the design of the system. The Accenture
business has a strategy of doing only projects who have specific clients already in
contrast to an R&D type of business such as ASTI. They don't initiate a development
effort (or rarely does R&D) on systems or products that they will sell to potential clients.
Well, I think this strategy of Accenture is what makes it a billionaire company and one
of the most profitable type of business in the world. Basically, the Accenture business
follows the rule "There is no point in developing a perfect product if there is no market
for it". The offices of Accenture in Manila-Philippines are primarily focused on the
delivery of business and solutions. The Manila office doesn't talk with the clients, they
just do whatever project was given by the consulting group which is based in other
countries. It means to say that the Accenture in the Philippines is the technical workforce
of Accenture while the ones located in most of other countries are involved in sales
and direct contact with Accenture clients which are mostly, or 99.9%, are based outside
the Philippines.
After the interview, I get to realized that what if this is what the government is doing?
Why don't the government do wat the Accenture is doing, that is, develop products or systems
only if there are sure market/clients. Why don't the NetApps Team, which I currently handle,
do same kind of strategy. Well, to do this, I will need to a team of marketing people
who would directly talk with the clients and sign contracts with us. For every client, we
can customize applications and provide consultancy with them. This kind of strategy is
what is lacking in most of the government-owned IT departments. Would it be my legacy to
be able to implement such kind of strategy or will it be my career in Accenture?
Right now, all I can do is wait for Accenture's job offer. I have nothing to lose if in
case they didn't accept me. But, one thing is for sure, Accenture would be a nice workplace
to spend my life and be able to take part in the private business of outsourcing and
consultancy. Imagine working in Accenture and having known how the company works. That
would give much exposure on how does this blooming outsourcing business is doing.
Accenture is one such as ricefield which has golden fruits harnessing the benefits of
a committed, strengthened, dedicated, experienced and focused strategy which really
controls the world's businesses as their clients. The people behind this company are so
brilliant!!!

---------

>>Read this story on the things I encountered while starting to work at the Big A!
>>How excited I am to transfer to a new company...
>>Im excited to start my first day at Accenture!
>>New Joiners Experience (NJO)
>>Today is the second day of training and we still dont have an instructor.
>>A feeling of hope in the new career and hopelessness in the political/economic conditions

Chatting for the first time with my Bro in Legaspi

My Diary
ASTI-DOST, PREGINET,NetApps
March 21, 2005

Quite so tired after yesterdays very busy day...
Mam Odette's news on possibility to work for Sir Xtian's boss. But needs a hacker type of work!
Im thinking on using my SkyDSL line for starting my hacking career and doing networking solutions.
The setup at home with a DSL modem, LinkSys DSL router, a FreeBSD PC can be used to setup a webserver
or do such things as hacking!
My brother suddenly "buzzed" me who is online and he is in Legaspi right now. I missed him. I was
actually convicning him to return to Manila to work as network administrator in my e-Live! Computer
Rentals. He said he will go here when there are already many PC. He also mentioned that he wants to
study now. I said you should help yourself too by working this summer so that you can have some money
for the tuition.
--------------
(11:03:45) : Buzz!!
(11:03:54) edwin_vinas: uy nasaan ka?
(11:04:08) ramil_vinas: nandito sa legaspi
(11:04:11) edwin_vinas: saan ka nagchachat?
(11:04:18) edwin_vinas: bakit ka nandyan sa legaspi?
(11:04:52) ramil_vinas: pumunta lang kac ako dito kac graduate ng kaibigan ko
(11:05:04) ramil_vinas: tska may tatanong lang ako sau
(11:05:09) edwin_vinas: oo nga
(11:05:21) edwin_vinas: sinabi ko kay Ma na pumunta ka na ditio
(11:05:36) edwin_vinas: di ka naman pala tumutulong magtanim kila Ma
(11:05:39) edwin_vinas: kaya dito ka na lng
(11:05:42) ramil_vinas: kac ung phone ko sira na at dumadami ang cra nya
(11:06:00) edwin_vinas: pag punta mo dito ipaayos natin yan
(11:06:06) ramil_vinas: mas magastos nga pag pumupunta don cla ma eh\(11:06:17) edwin_vinas: eh bakit?
(11:06:24) ramil_vinas: wag na lang naten paayos kac marami na talaga ang cra nya
(11:06:37) ramil_vinas: lagi nga nag ootoshutdown
(11:06:39) edwin_vinas: ano ba ang sira?
(11:06:54) ramil_vinas: keypad lang naman
(11:07:08) ramil_vinas: kaya lang mahal ang pag paayos nun
(11:07:20) ramil_vinas: keypad membrain
(11:07:23) ramil_vinas: daw ang cra nya
(11:07:50) edwin_vinas: oh ano gusto mo magbantay ulit ng computer shop?
(11:08:07) edwin_vinas: nagpakabit na ako ng mabilis na internet, yung DSL
(11:08:23) ramil_vinas: hindi nmn ba mga cra ang mga pc jan
(11:08:38) edwin_vinas: dalawa pa lang ang computer dito
(11:08:42) edwin_vinas: bibili pa alo
(11:08:46) ramil_vinas: ahh ok(11:08:49) ramil_vinas: pag madami na
(11:08:53) ramil_vinas: punta na ako jan
(11:09:03) edwin_vinas: may apat na computer tables na
(11:09:20) ramil_vinas: pwede ba iswap yung cel ko kac bili na lang ako ng bago
(11:09:27) edwin_vinas: pwede
(11:09:31) ramil_vinas: ahh ok
(11:09:41) ramil_vinas: e d wag ng lang paayos
(11:09:49) edwin_vinas: yung celpon ko binenta ko na kaya Nokia 6150 na lng celpon ko
(11:10:02) ramil_vinas: ung tulad ng dati?
(11:10:17) ramil_vinas: bat mo nmn bininta yun?
(11:10:18) edwin_vinas: yung katulad ng celphon ni Manoy nakakahiya nga eh
(11:10:31) edwin_vinas: yung pinagbentahan ko ng cel ko ibibili ko ng PC
(11:10:51) ramil_vinas: e d sau na lang yung cel ko
(11:11:03) ramil_vinas: tapos bili na lang ako ng ericson
(11:11:10) ramil_vinas: second hand
(11:11:14) edwin_vinas: anong ericson?
(11:11:29) ramil_vinas: yung nabibili lang sa green hils
(11:11:35) edwin_vinas: o sige
(11:11:52) edwin_vinas: pag may computer shop na ulit tayo, mag ipon ka ulit
(11:12:09) edwin_vinas: tapos baka makapag-aral ka sa June
(11:12:12) ramil_vinas: bakit ? hindi ba ako mag aaral muna?
(11:12:19) ramil_vinas: ahh ganun ba
(11:12:36) edwin_vinas: kaya nga kailangan mo magipon ngayong summer
(11:12:46) edwin_vinas: para sa June pwede ka mag aral kc may pera ka
(11:13:11) edwin_vinas: hindi kc kita pwede pag aralin kung nagpapadala pa ako kay Ma buwan buwan
(11:13:20) ramil_vinas: ahh
(11:13:23) edwin_vinas: eh maliit lng ang sahod ko nagyon
(11:13:35) edwin_vinas: kaya dapat tulungan mo rin sarili mo
(11:13:48) edwin_vinas: yung computer shop kahit papano kikita yun
(11:13:50) ramil_vinas: bat sabi ni ma aalis ka na daw sa asti?
(11:14:00) edwin_vinas: yun ang pang tuition mo sa school
(11:14:01) ramil_vinas: bat nmn?
(11:14:11) edwin_vinas: hindi pa ako aalis
(11:14:17) ramil_vinas: ahh ok
(11:14:21) ramil_vinas: kala ko kac aalis kana
(11:14:33) ramil_vinas: mahirap na kac maghanap ng trabaho ngaun
(11:15:01) ramil_vinas: kumusta nmn jan?
(11:15:24) edwin_vinas: ok naman
(11:15:36) edwin_vinas: buti nag online ka
(11:15:49) edwin_vinas: eh sino naman ang pinuntahan mo dyan
(11:15:56) edwin_vinas: saan ka kumuha ng pamasahe?
(11:16:17) ramil_vinas: madali lang pumunta dito kahit wala kang ng pera
(11:16:28) edwin_vinas: nyek paano?
(11:16:29) ramil_vinas: kac kilala ko nmn ang mga tsuper
(11:16:37) edwin_vinas: ganun
(11:16:41) ramil_vinas: oo nmn
(11:16:46) ramil_vinas: my mga kasama nmn ako eh
(11:16:50) edwin_vinas: eh bakit di ka sumasama sa banao?
(11:17:09) ramil_vinas: wala ng gagawin doon eh
(11:17:09) ramil_vinas: bantayan na lang don
(11:17:14) ramil_vinas: kaya don na lang c pa
(11:19:23) edwin_vinas: ano gusto mo pa pumunta dito?
(11:19:51) ramil_vinas: sabi ni ma pag ka galing nya daw jan saka nmn ako pupunta jan
(11:19:58) ramil_vinas: kac wala daw tao dito eh(11:20:31) edwin_vinas: ah ok
(11:21:15) ramil_vinas: mura na lang ba ang mga cel jan
(11:21:23) edwin_vinas: ganun pa rin
(11:21:38) edwin_vinas: yung cell mo 9000 pa rin presyo
(11:22:01) edwin_vinas: wla na kc yung dating greenhills na binilihan natin ng cell mo
(11:22:05) edwin_vinas: pinasara na
(11:22:25) edwin_vinas: meron dun sa kabilng building ng grrehills kc medyo mahal ng kontin
(11:22:28) ramil_vinas: bakit nmn?
(11:22:35) edwin_vinas: di ko alam
(11:22:36) ramil_vinas: ahh ok
(11:23:33) ramil_vinas: tym na ata kame
(11:23:38) ramil_vinas: mag iingat ka jan
(11:23:45) ramil_vinas: cge alis na ako
(11:25:50) edwin_vinas: ok
(11:30:41) edwin_vinas: nandyan ka pa?
(11:30:58) ramil_vinas: 5 minsna lng daw
(11:31:23) edwin_vinas: hwag ka sasama sa kung saan saan dyan
(11:31:37) ramil_vinas: oo
(11:31:48) edwin_vinas: sino ang tao sa bahay? alam ba ni Ma na pupunta ka dyan?
(11:31:50) ramil_vinas: uuwi din kami mamaya(11:31:57) ramil_vinas: oo alam nya
(11:32:19) edwin_vinas: sino mga kasama mo dyan?
(11:32:39) ramil_vinas: ung mga kaklase ko dati dito sa high school
(11:33:18) ramil_vinas logged out.
--------------------
It's almost 8pm and my officemates are gone. Why do I become more productive during late officehours
than duirng 8-5pm when people are still around?
Jason approached me and talked to me about his hard feelings on his bosses and his work. Sir Josel
asked him "Ano na ba ang nacontribute mo sa PREGINET?" and he's like crying while talking to me as
if we were close friends! Im also concerned with him because he is the one who maintains my previous
works in PREHINET such as the weatheemap and the mrtgviewer. He is now experiencing the feeling I had
before when I realize my works are becoming routinary and I feel like doing different things but my
bosses kept on telling me what to do. I just advised him that it's really normal for Sir Josel. Even
in my case, I've almost cried during the time he interviewed and many times he become like a Tiger.
I think that's what bosses are?!
Please help me Lord!
-Edwin

"I feel sick, sad, pressured, worried, undecided, anxious, afraid, hatred, jealous."

"I feel sick, sad, pressured, worried, undecided, anxious, afraid, hatred, jealous."While on my way to my work riding the Aurora LRT, I saw many buildings and businesses and I realize why is itthat only very few has the right to have a business or be rich? "Sila lng ba talaga ang may karapatan?". "Paano ba talaga?" "Bakit hanggang ngayon, 27 years na ako, hindi pa rin ako maka-leap or jump to a higher level?"If I will not be able to be rich, my soul will be sad forever and it's like getting rich or die for me. Ayoko na talaga sa ganitong buhay.... I think I also have the right to experience what rich people experience.But how? Im just an ordinary person with no capital to start a decent business.... Where shall I start?Shall I continue with the internet cafe business? "Rome was not built in one night!"Here are my target business which I think I can do based on my skills and knowledge... >>Read more

First time to stay in Shangri-La Hotel

At 6:30pm, me, Mam Tonette, Mam Gay, Mam Maricel and Mam Odette went to the Shangri-LA hotel in EDSAto avail of the free one-night stay ocurtesy of Mam Odette! Im so excited to be able to sleep in one of thefive-star hotels in the Philippines. Going there we used a taxi. As we ride the taxi,we were laughing coz of my joke. The driver said "Mam pwede po ba 120? Wla po kasi akongmetro.". Then I said, "Meron po ako dalang metro gamitin natin, portable ito heheheh!". Wewere so happy going there. The EDSA Shangri-La Hotel is a very nice hotel near SM Megamall.At the lobby, you can see rich people never minding their stay for 200T/night! Afterwe checked in at Room 718, we went out to eat dinner at the Congo Grills which is a walkingdistance from the hotel. I ordered Roast Beef Caesar's salad, Tonkatsu, rice and bottomlessiced tea. I also drunk 2 San Mig Light and one San Mig Strong Ice. Ms Maricel went home early then Dumbo of SPD also went there together with his girlfriend. Dumbo is such as niceguy with big body built and also rich! Back the hotel riding at Dumbo's car, we were quitedrunk and eager to savour the goodness of the Shangri-La Hotel. I really like soaking mybody at the hot tub but Mam Odette entered while Im there. Im so shy of what may happenif Mam Odette suddenly removed the curtain of my tub, she will see my whole body hehehe!Mam Odette is my closest ASTI friend and has always been the person who made possible myUSA and Thailand travels. Hope I can repay her someday when Im rich. Well, she's even buyinga new car soon, an OPTRA Chevrolet! She said it's much better than the car of ASTI DirectorSir Denis! Wow, she is purchasing a car for initial cash-out of P140,000 and monthly paymentof P16,000 for 48 months! I have to find a big time job to be able to experience that also!After taking a bath, Mam Odette, Mam Gay and Mam Tonette were sharing in the bed while I was sleeping separately in a sofa. As a guy, Im still thinking, why did they invited me tostay in the hotel with them? But, being a profesional person, I should not do anything thatwill destroy my integrity especially for these three pioneering and regular employees of ASTI.My stay and bonding with them is an opportunity to show them that even if I only came fromTUP (not UP) and has a personality defect; Im also such a person that can be trusted.At two o'clock, I woke up due to the soothing coldness of the aircon. I thought I can with-stand it but I pulled out a free blanket, removed my shirt and cover it to my head withonly my nose exposed in my face. Im like a sleeping ninja! I dreamt of a very naught dream.Before we slept Mam Gay was joking that Im watching an adult film which is P600 per moviebut i dont actually wanna do that since my companions are all respectable co-employees. So,I slept again with all my body covered with comfortable blanket. My dream was about uswatching a movie channel at the hotel's large TV and it's like 5 gay men having an orgy.I was so excited when I saw those daring scenes and I kinda run to the CR to release my ego.But, I realize it was just a dream! Oh my, why did I dreamt about that? Opps by the way, while we returned to the hotel from dinner, we saw Rosanna Roces "Osang" at lobby.As usual,she is so mestiza and still very beautiful!Then, at 8:00, Mam Odette and I ate a free buffet breakfast at the hotel's restaurant. Differentpeople ate very nice dishes and I can't help but realize that I really have to work hardin order to experience those things through my own spendings. I should do the following:- stop being so hyprocrite and "isnabero"- make friends with people who can be ur contact and can give u benefits like discounts- shape-up my body and go to the gym- buy a car because having a car means having nice friends and adventures- eat at cozy restaurants like COngo Grill together with co-employees for bonding purposes- drink some beer every now and then to help circulate body bloodI also realized the following:- Three of the Filipino business men (Tan, SY, Ayala) were among the top richest people in theworld (accdng to the newspaper at the hotel). If there are billionares in the Philippines,how come we kept on saying that Phiulippines is so poor?- The only affected people by the issues of poverty are the poor class. Middle class andupper class never minds staying in Shangri-La while poor people can't even ride airconditionedbuses! - If you wanna be rich, think like u are already rich! If you want to get to the world ofrich, do the things that rich people do such as business, save money and smart living.As I write this diary, Im waiting for the Bayantel technicians who will install the DSLinternet in the house. Will I get moeny from having a 256KBps Internet? SOme of the appsIm thinking for this fast internet are:- computer rental- download service- wireless internet for the community- online store- online trading of computers and partsIm also excited to monitor a DSL line and planning to setup a monitoring station for theInternet speed placed in an LED display inside the shop Im planning to build. Having suchas display is an educational in nature and can help the customers realize the connection ofour Internet. >>Read more

Lessons from "Million Dollar Baby" movie

The movie "Million Dollar" is about a very persevering woman fighter/boxer who has a verytouching story. It reminds us that life is so important and giving chance to those peoplewho really wants to make a difference is a duty of the those people who can lead them.It also says that all the material things and achievements that we can have in this worlddoesn't matter. What matters is that you were able to do what you think is your purposeand what you really want to do. Life is about proving something to everyone that humanshave the natural power of making things in his mind and turning his dreams into a reality.Also, the most undeniable fact in life is death. Death is our enemy and the sad truthwhy humans don't have an everlasting happiness. Man can only live in this world for ashort period of time. Life is full of uncertainties... you'll never know what willhappen to you. Just like in my case, who could ever thought that an Edwin from a small barrio of Banao in Manito Albay could finish with flying colors and be able to work in the leading R&D institution in the Philippines! >>Read more

Sadness that I will carry till I die due to the sad reality.

I have been wandering in this world for 27 years now! The first 7
years, I spent playing in our backyard, just playin and eating and
making some headeaches for my parents. Then the 6 years, I spent in
elementary. The next 5 years, I spent in college. The other 5 years, I
spent working as educated individual. But then now its my 27th
birthday, I feel like giving up! I just silently tell to myself na
"Ayoko na! Ayoko na! Ayoko na!". I don't feel significant anymore!
Where am I going? What am I doing in my life? Yesterday, I spent three
hours searching for job opportunities both here and abroad. I realized
it's really difficult! If only I have a daddy that is millionaire, I
shouldnt have suffered these things. If only I have a CEO friend whom
I could easily ask for a job, I should have been out it this company
long time ago. Im just afraid to give up coz when I give up, only
myself is going to catch me. I know, some people here in ASTI really
hopes for my resignation.... but I just can't do that without a backup
income or job. But amidst this dilemna in my life, I still care to
spend so much and live as if Im rich! Why am I like this? I am the
only hope to help my family, but what is happening to me? I am in a
career path that is very low in opportunities. I am doing many things
that wouldn't even add up a single value to my career. I am an ECE but
look at what I am now? I was placed in a type of job that does things
I haven't studied in my college years. I am an ECE but who's using my
license? I am 27 years old, but what is my value, I am still
nothing!!! My parents or family did not even remember my birthday
right now. I really feel so sad today. Although there is a person whom
I can be happy of because of the gift and friendship we share, I still
don't really like what is happening. I know Im a man of
discontentment. Im a sinner! I am a non-sense researcher! Im a
no-value engineer! Im am no-value in the face of God! Im no value to
everyone! No matter what I do, or no matter i will do, I will not be
able to turn back time and correct myself. I have been trapped in the
sea of sinners! I have been trapped in a stagnant sea that no matter
how strong I row my boat, I just can't stop the current flowing
through me. I know, I no longer have the chance, but I will still live
for the sake of my dreams. Now I realize, dreams may not all come
true. What shall i do now? Im just an ordinary person who has many
things in mind but my environment is just so full of influence and
power that I can't stretch my wings in order to fligh high. From now
on, hindi na talaga ako tatawa. I really dont feel that I should be
happy of this world! I am no longer dreaming that when I die, angels
would sing to me. I am no longer dreaming that God will help me coz I
feel like I am abondoned now. The more I add to my years of stay in
this world, the more I get separated to my family and the more I feel
insignificant.... What if I just return to Bicol and start a new life
there? What if I just apply for a job abroad and take a risk in
spending big money just to work in foreign soil? What ifs... what
ifs.. what ifs... too many possibilities but very hard to choose which
one is going to be best for me. In my own opinion, I will no longer
cope up with the world for the next 5 years! I will remain an
insignificant and incompetent person to the years to come. Well,
that's what life is all about! Not all people becomes successful... If
only God will help me. If only those powerful unseen things in nature
would help me. If only those things I couldn't see would help me. If
only God will teach me the right direction in life.... If only I have
caring parents.... If only I have loving brothers and sisters.... If
only I am a normal person... This is my birthday but then I feel so
sad. Sadness that I will carry till I die due to the sad reality. >>Read more

The reasons why I left DOST-ASTI

Mga Baho ng ASTI
- Most of the ASTI employees have MP3 repositories and one server is
even dedicated to server anime/cartoons where emplotees used to view
even during iffice hours
- Palakasan system and lack of support superiors to subordinates. Most
of the superiors are afraid the juniors so they tend to grab the
opportunities and even disallow the juniors to do what they want.
- Lack of proper human resources management. When you enter ASTI,
there is a 50% possiblity that you will end up working in your
non-field.
- Procurement/Bidding Lagayan. Some superior employees used to have
their own contact with bidders so they can commissions.
A couple of weeks ago, I applied for promotion for Senior SRS regular
position because Sir Josel told me to. Even if I know im already
frustrated in appying 5-times for any position, I still submitted my
application papers. There is really a very big hole in the promotion
system. The PSB is cricled with barkada bosses and they don't actually
base their decisions on the credentials of the applicatnt. "Palakasan"
at "sipsipan" is what really happens in ASTI. If you're not in good
terms with the rest of the promotion board (i.,e, di ka nila frend or
malayo ka sa loob nila), you're out. What's funny here is that those
people who are fond of watching animes, playing games during office
are those being promoted. And also the most morally degrading part is
that naibibigay sa mga bagong pasok yung promotion compared to people
who have been working for 2-3 years. So how could ASTI preserve its
employees if it doesn't value people who are hardworking and dedicated
to ASTI. I think, in my case, Im also a victim of school
discrimination. Since Im a graduate of a class D university, I find it
hard for me to be promoted. I also see my inassociation and lack of
bonding or "pagka-sipsip to bosses" as one of the factors. Sorry, I
still value my soul and rather do the right thing than associate with
them.
today is the ASTI days celebration of ASTI and Inauguration of Access
Grid. Palakasan talaga dito. Imagine, sa catering pala eh nag-aaway kc
kung sino may kakilala at malakas sa admin, sya ang nasusunod.
yung sa ASTI days naman, nagtataka ako di na sya tulad dati na kahit
small projects ay kasama sa exhibits. tapos wla na msyado activities.
para bang wlang budget na? eh, ang palagay ko eh tinitipid talaga ng
ASTI ang gastos dahil gusto nito makasiguro na palaging may MC ang mga
regulars at iba pang benefits. budgeting does not depend on the
projects. it depends on the decision of regualrs who want to thrift
everything for the sake of their monthly benefits.
today, i was so sad to know that no one cares for me in this
institute. eh kc lunch time (free kc asti days kuno), wla man lng
nang-invite sakin! ganun pala ha!
>>Read more
>>Here's another story about my complaints
>>Read this as I also became sad when I'm about to leave ASTI
>>My last day at the company as officially resigned employee
>>Farewell to ASTI!

My Legacy to the DOST-ASTI

When I was still studying, I always say "It's just a matter of
technique...". It's one of the reasons why I achieved high in my
college years. To be able to get high grades and do everything even
the difficult ones, we should learn the technique. Today, I was able
to get to see my web calendar and I realized, time is running fast! My
27th birthday is on February 22. Im getting old but my worth is
getting less. It's time to concentrate on what I really want to do
with my life even if I have few people who supports me, even if my
team mates leaves me, I will still continue to work coz I know God
would teach me how to do things right!
ASTI is implementing a re-org this year and PREGINET project is ending
by May 2005! If PREGINET is ending on May 2005, i only have 4 months
in PREGINET. If ASTI is re-organizing, where do I place myself?
Eventhough, I prefer continuing in R&D, the problem is the project
availability not unless I propose a new project which I can't still do
right now. If PREGINET is ending by May 2005, did I finish my purpose
as one of the team members of the PREGINET team? When I entered
PREGINET, I have been focused on network management/monitoring where I
get to do R&D and software development on network monitoring tools.
The implementation of simple MRTGViewer/Weathermaps in the network is
good as it is really being used by the Network Operations team in
network monitoring. My release of MRTGViewer has given me some
ppularity in the open source community. Also, because of some
researches, it has given me many opportunities to travel or attend
local/international conferences. But, the implementation of
weathermaps which is not originally developed by myself is not that
outstanding. It would be better if I could leave a legacy on network
management/monitoring not only for PREGINET but also for the open
source community.
From the point of view above, I would say that my real purpose in
PREGINET is to be able to deploy a scalable and locally developed
network management system. If only I can develop a setup which
PREGINET can show to th visitors that this system was developed here
in ASTI and it features many nice things which are better than the
commercially available software. My travel to Ireland is just a
sub-opportunity and the real job is in PREGINET or ASTI. What Im
saying is that I should finish what I started and leave a legacy on
the field of network management to PREGINET and to the international
opensource community. I know its difficult but I have to take the risk
and its also for my own benefit. I should be able to plan it well coz
the time remaining is very short. In three or four months, I should be
able to finish everything and show my execellence in this network
management area.
With the very short time left to accomplish all things, what do I want
to leave as a legacy? When I leave PREGINET, what would they say about
me? In terms of my career development, what do I gain from PREGINET?
Will I be that competitive in terms of network
management/monitoring/software development if I will work in other
companies or in other country? Am I person that is worth knowing? Will
I be able to overcome my weaknesses after the project? Will I be able
to travel abroad because of this project? Will PREGINET be satisfied
of my output and be able to use it? I guess there are still many big
opportunities. I just have to work hard inorder to do this. Im now
ready to sacrifice everything for this project and for my career
development.
Ok, now I need to lay out my workplan for the first quarter of this year 2005!
Steps in developing a workplan?
- What is the real purpose of PREGINET/NetMon? Assess the situation.
- What are the problems that needs to be addressed?
- What are the strategies, goals and objectives?

>>Read more

As I work today on Saturday at ASTI, Im quite excited in going to work
even if I have an abscess. I realized while browing noc.pregi.net and
pawikan.pregi.net that I have done so many things in network
management especially in the development of tools that can be used for
PREGINET. Im also sad to realize that this simple projects could have
been impoved and implemented if the project and company are supportive
of what I am doing. I felt a little lonely coz this has been the case
in ASTI. Maybe, this is really the case in this government company. No
wonder that there have been a lot of projects conducted by institute
but only few becomes usable. This might be because of the lack of
support of the company in its employees... the lack of belief to the
capabilities of the researchers and the lack of respect to some of the
employees... Due to this realizations, Im really pushed to end of the
line where I now have to find a better company who will support me in
achieving and making the most of my potentials. There is no point in
developing a great product if there is no market for it. The
development of Pawikan which I can say as a hard-to-reach dream is
somethinga three-team development team is doing in substitute to what
should be a big development team inorder to achieve a better product.
The lack of marketers for new products is also one of the major causes
of unsuccessful development of Pawikan. Pawikan is a big software
development project that needs to have the complete compositsions of a
softwre development team. I suddenly realize while Im testing Pawikan
yesterday that what Im doing is really difficult. Imagine being a
developer and a tester at the same time. If this is the case, I
believe that the development of big software by a small development
team is really bound to failure. But I dont want to mark Pawikan as a
failure. Why dont I shift my focus from development to solutions
integration. Im sure its going to be too late to shift focus. What Im
saying is to make use of the nice features of Pawikan and integrate it
with the current network monitoring tools such Network Weathermaps,
MRTG/MRTGiewer. MRTG presents an easy way of monitoring the network
especially its current up/down status using the MRTGViewer tool.
Pawikan's network discovery is a nice tool for discovering the network
inorder to see which targets can be monitored. Using the Cricket's
complete collector system coupled with the rrd2sql tool which allows
long-term storage of the network statistics makes it ideal for network
analysis and billing analysis. Using Pawikan's Java GUI's,
visualization of complex nodes and links can be made easy.
NetCartographer can be used for overall network visualization
including the traffic. errors, discards, cpu status etc which are not
available in the MRTG/Weathermaps. With this available tools which
really addresses the requirements of the users, I think I dont have to
punish myself from doing the impossible. Besides, I really want to
transfer to other company. If Im going to continue planning for the
Pawikan development with only myself left which is serious, its is
very difficult. Can't I leave a simple legacy to the PREGINET network
using this available tools?
This is my legacy as I can see it in my vision....
The Network Operations Center of PREGINET uses in-house developed
network monitoring tools and other integrated network management tools
which has functionalities for performing network discovery, Java-based
network topology visualization, network traffic mapping, network links
downtimes monitoring, customer/partners billing, and other simple
tools that makes network management of the nationwide R&E network a
little bit easy and costs almots zero on software used. The network
management system of PREGINET consists of these components:
- Data Polling/Storage System (pawikan core, netdisco, cricket, snmp database)
- Data Visualization System (mrtg/network weathermap, netcarto, netbrow)
- Customer Usage/Billing System (downtimes, link usage/performance reporting)
- Troubles Management System (otrs, sms gateway, audi/visual alarms)
- Network Analysis & Security System (netflow, snort)
I think this little plan is easier for me... I'm a person who wants to
work with simplicity. KISS -- "Keep it simple stupid!" as they say.
>>Read more

My Ireland Dream!

Hi Cat & all!
Ang bilis mo namang bumalik dyan Cathy! Anyway, next
time na lng tayo lahat magmeet pagbalik mo ulit kaya
dapat mas bongga! :-)
My tentative travel to Ireland is scheduled on January
26, 2005. Naka-sched ako for visa interview sa embassy
on Jan 6. Im not yet sure kung matutuloy ako kc
depende sa visa. Medyo kapos na naman nga ng time for
visa processing eh naiinis na ako :-( Ang maganda,
meron na ako travel itinerary (flights and hotel
accommodations) courtesy of Ericsson in Ireland, cguro
miscellaneous expenses na lng problem ko (pautang nga
pala sa may mga pera dyan!). I will be staying at
Radisson Hotel in Athlone, Ireland, Yung flight ko
from NAIA is via Royal Dutch Airlines to Amsterdam,
Netherlands. Then from Amsterdam to Dublin, Ireland
via Aer Lingus. All of which are economy class. Im
sure nasa dulo na naman ako ng plane nito katulad ng
pumunta ako sa US heheheh! Pero ok lng what is
important is safe yung flights. Then from Dublin,
Ireland, i will travel to the hotel in Athlone. Di ko
pa alam if Im taking a taxi or train kc medyo malayo
din ang Athlone from Dublin parang Manila to Laguna.
Kinabukasan after my arrival in Athlone, my interview
ako for one day. Then kinabukasan ulit, balik na agad
ako sa Pinas. Sana makakuha ako ng pics/video na
madami or makakilala ng blond lady heheheh!
Sana nga matuloy ako kc I really wanna see Ireland
(especially U2, Boyzone, Westlife and the Corrs) and
be able to work there! Sana pag di ako pumasa doon
kunin na lang nila ako na caretaker heheheh! Di pa nga
cgurado yun kc interview pa lng yun, kung tatanggapin
nila ako cguro dun na me magwowork. Im quite excited
and feeling nervous right now kc super lamig pala dun
(1 degree celsius ang temperature!!!) tsaka baka may
racial discrimination doon. Baka magfreeze ako dun
habang interview nila ako at di makasagot sa mga
tanong nila hehehehee!
Only God knows what will happen to us!
Merry Xmas and Hapi New year 2 all! In this coming
year, let's continue to pray and have more faith in
God for we really don't know what will happen to us.
Look at what happened in Phuket and other parts of
Southeast Asia, grabe noh!?
Nagpalit na nga po pala ako ng phone. Its
Sony-Ericsson K700i with new number +639194566106.
Kind Regards,
eds
P.S.: Pheng-Aries, next time na gift ko kay inaanak
ha. Kumusta nga pala ang PC na binenta ko sainyo?

>>Read more
>>Read another diary
>>Read also this one
>>My Ireland dream remained to be a dream!

MAHAL NA MAHAL KITA! GOD LOVES YOU AS I DO ALWAYS.

> Hi edwin,
>
> Ayan ha i email you now! hope that you receive this
> and you response too.
> Alam mo, I really happy that i met you sana hindi
> you nagagalit pag medyo makulit me sayo hope that yo
> understand.
> Alam mo, minsan naiinis me sa sarili ko kasi
> nagiging selfish me lalo ngayon na balak mong umalis
> ng bansa kasi dito na nga lang di tayo magkita
> ngayon mas lalayo ka pa . Ayoko namang sabihin ang
> nararamdaman ko sayo in person kasi alam ko rin na
> kailangan at sayang ang opportunity dun. Marami kang
> dream sa family mo at maybe sa future mo rin kaya
> dapat ka ngang magsipag hangga't bata pa di ba.
> Malungkot na masaya ang nararamdaman ko sa
> nangyayari sayo ngayon. Alam mo di ko alam kung
> bakit ayaw mo me kausapin ng seryoso, lagi mo nalang
> me hinahaluan ng biro , tapos sasabihin mo ako ang
> nagbibiro. Natatakot ka bang lubusan na magmahal me
> sayo kasi minsan parang pinagtutulakan mo na ko
> papalayo, pero eto me makulit ikaw pa rin ang gusto
> .
> Naalala ko yung sinabi mo na kung susunod ako sayo
> dun , i really think bout that if ever na maistay ka
> dun. Ganun me ka martir, kahit sabihin mo na bata pa
> ko i can met a lot of boys someday, wa me paki sa
> kanila. Nung sinabi mo na kung ano ang pasalubong na
> gusto ko kung babalik ka, ayoko ng british, gusto
> ko yung mahal kung si edwin na nakilala ko sa text ,
> na naka eyeglass at payat yun ang ipasalubong mo sa
> akin ha na may dala ng enggagement ring joke!. Basta
> ikaw ang gusto kung bumalik dito at maging
> pasalubong para sa akin.
> Wag kang magbabago ha! Pasensya na ha madrama ko
> talaga . di naman kasi me makapagsalita ng harapan
> bout this ayoko ko kasi na biglang sumimangot ka o
> magalit sa akin at manahimik. Gusto ko e, nakasmile
> ang hon ko palagi kaya nga piling crystala ako para
> sayo wag ka lang maginit ang ulo, di naman kasi me
> demanding person na magutos masaya na ko basta
> masaya mga mahal ko kahit malayo, sumusugod ako
> ganun kahalaga ang mga nasa paligid ko specially
> you. Medyo inis pa nga kasi dahil hindi lang iyon
> ang gusto kung effort na mapakita ko, kasi minsan
> feeling ko walang sense yung ginagawa ko talaga,
> dapat as a girlfriend e sinisilbihan kita at
> inaalagaan , sana someday magawa ko naman yun para
> masabi na ok pala ang gf ko! . Grabe ako noh! Lalo
> ka siguro matatakot sa sinabi ko. Pero yun lang ang
> gusto ko at hinihiling ko kay god na mangyari sa
> buhay ko kasama ka.
> I always says that thank god nagkita rin tayo then
> forget ko na ang fast na di ka nagpakita sa akin.
> Ganun talaga me ! Kasi mahal na mahal kita . At isa
> pa ikaw ang hiniling ko kaya ayoko na mawala ka
> edwin. Ganun pa man wag mo sana me kalimutan dito!
> kasi ikaw laging nasa puso ko lang at lagi kitang
> mamimis sa araw-araw.
> Pero dahil nandito ka pa sana pumayag ka na dito sa
> amin mag x-mas at new year,tutal hindi ka naman uuwi
> sa provns nyo.Para naman makasama kita man lang
> kahit isa sa araw na yun . Malungkot ang magisa
> nandito na ko para sa iyo kaya wag ka naman
> magfeeiling ok.
>
> Anyway hanggang dito na lang , susunod na lang ulit
> ! sana magresponse ka
> Lagi kang mag-iingat ha Wag na wag mong pababayaan
> ang sarili mo. At wag na wag mong kakalimutan na
> nandito si tere na habangbuhay n amagmamahal sayo!
> at susuporta sa iyo anuman ang desisyon mo. MAHAL
> NA MAHAL KITA! GOD LOVES YOU AS I DO ALWAYS.
>>Read more

Touching story....

I was born in a secluded village of a mountain. Days by days my parents plowed the yellow dry soil with their backs facing the sky. I have a younger brother, 3 years younger than me. Once, to buy a handkerchief which all girls around me seemed to have, I stole 50 cents from my father's drawer. Father known about it right away. He made my younger brother and me kneeled against the wall, with a bamboo stick in his hand. "Who stole the money?" he asked. I was stunned, too afraid to talk. Father didn't hear any of us admit, so he said, "Fine, if nobody wants to admit, you two should be beaten!" He lifted up the bamboo stick. Suddenly, my younger brother gripped father's hand and said," Dad, I was the one who did it!" The long stick smacked on my brother's back repeatedly. Father was so angry that he kept on whipped my brother until he lost his breath. After that, he sat down on our stone bed and scolded my brother, "You have learnt to steal from your own house now, what other embarrassing things you will do in the future?? You should be beaten to death! You shameless thief!" That night, mother and I hugged my brother. His body full of injuries, but he didn't shed a single tear. In the middle of the night, all of sudden I cried out loudly. My brother covered my mouth with his little hand and said, " Sis, now don't cry anymore. Everything has happened." I still hate myself for didn't have enough courage to admit what I had done. Years gone by, but the incident still looked like it just happen! ed yesterday. I will never forget my brother's expression when he protected me. That year, my brother was 8 years old; I was 11 years old. When my brother was in his last year of his lower secondary school, he was accepted in an upper secondary school in the central. At the same time, I was accepted into a province's university. That night, father squatted in the yard, smoking, packet by packet. I could hear him said, "Both our children have good results? very good results?" Mother wiped off her tears and sighed," What is the use? How can we possibly finance both of them?" At that time, my brother walked out, he stood in front of father and said,"Dad, I don't want to continue my study anymore, I have read enough books." Father swung his hand and slapped brother on his face. "Why do you have a spirit so damn weak? Even if it means I have to beg for money on the streets, I will send! d you two to school until you both finish your study!" And then, he started to knock on every house in the village to borrow money. I stuck out my hand as soft as I can to my brother's swollen face, and said, "A boy has to continue his study; If not, he will not be able to leave this depths of poverty." Me, on the other hand, had decided not to further my study to university. Who knows on the next day, before dawn, my brother left the house with a few pieces of worn-out clothes and a few dry beans. He sneaked to the side of my bed and left a note on my pillow; "Sis, get into an university is not easy. I will go find a job and send money to you." I held the note while sitting on my bed, and cried until I lost my voice. That year, my brother was 17 years old; I was 20 years old. With the money father borrowed from the whole village, and money my brother earned from carrying cement on his back at cons! truction site,finally, I managed to get to the third year of my study in the university. One day, I was studying in my room, when my roommate came in and told me,"There's a villager wait for you outside!" Why is there a villager looking for me? I walked out, and saw my brother from afar, His whole body is dirty, covered by dust, cement and sands. I asked him, "Why don't you tell my roommate that you are my brother?" He replied with a smile," Look at my appearance. What will they think if they know that I am your brother? Don't they laugh at you?" I felt so touched, and tears filled my eyes. I swept away dusts from my brother's body. And said with a lump in my throat, " I don't care of what people say! You are my brother no matter what your appearance is?" From his pocket, he took out a butterfly hair clip. He wore it on me, and said, "I saw all the girls in town are wearing it. So, I think you should also have one." I could not hold back myself anymore. I pulled my brother into my arms and cried and cried. That year, my brother was 20 years old; I was 23 years old. The first time I brought my boyfriend home, the broken window had been repaired.And it looked so clean inside the house. After, my boyfriend went home, I danced like a small girl in front of my mother, "Mom, you don't have to spend so many time cleaning the house!" But she said with a smile," It was your brother who went home early to clean the house. Didn't you see the wound on his hand? He was injured while replacing the window." I went into my brother's small bedroom. Looking at his thin face, I felt like there are hundreds of needle pricked in my heart. I put some ointment on his wound and bandaged it, "Does it hurt? " I asked him. "No, it doesn't hurt. You know, when I was working in the construction site, stones falling on my feet all the time. Even that could not stop me from working and?" In the middle of the sentence, he stopped. I turned my back on him and tears rolling down my face. That year, my brother was 23 years old; I was 26 years old. After I got married, I lived in the city. Lots of time my husband invited my parents to come and live with us, but they didn't want. They said, once they left the village,they didn't know what to do. My brother also didn't agree, he said, "Sis, you just taking care of your parents-in-law. I will take care of mom and dad here." My husband became the director of his factory. We wanted my brother to get the job as the manager in the department of maintenance. But my brother rejected the offer. He insisted on starting to work as a reparation worker. One day, my brother was on the top of a ladder repairing a cable, when he got electrocuted, and was sent to the hospital. My husband and I visited him. Looked at the white gypsum on his leg, I grumbled,"Why did you reject to be a manager? Manager will not do something dangerous like this. Look at you now, such a serious injury. Why you didn't want to listen to us?" With a serious expression on his face, he defended on his decision, "Think of brother-in-law?he just became the director, and I almost uneducated. If I became the manager, what kind of rumors will fly around?" My husband's eyes filled up with tears, and then I said, "But you lack in education also because of me!" "Why talking about the past?" My brother held my hand. That year, he was 26 years old and I was 29 years old. My brother was 30 years old when he married a farmer girl from the village. In his wedding reception, the master of ceremonies asked him, "Who is the one you respect and love the most?" Without thinking, he answered," My sister." He continued by telling a story I could not even remember. "When I was in primary school, the school was in different village.Everyday, my sister and I walked for 2 hours to go school and go home. One day, I lost one of my pair of gloves. My sister gave me one of hers. She only wore one glove and walked for so far. When we got home, her hand was so trembled because of the weather that was so cold that she could not even hold her chopsticks. From that day on, I swore that as long as I live, I would take care of my sister and be good to her." Applause filled up the room. All guests turned their attentions to me. Words were so hard to come out from my mouth, "In my whole life, the one I would like to thank the most is my brother," And in this happy occasion,in front of the crowd, tears rolling down my face again. Love and care for the one you love every single days of your life. You may think what you did is just a small deed, but to that someone, it may mean a lot. >>Read more

The dark side of my life!

This is a compilation of the many instances wherein the darkside of me prevails over the normal.



  • i understand you keeping distant from me, and i guess it would be better for you doing that, kasi baka maapektuhan pa kita sa aking emotional thingy >>Read more
  • N0w, im smiling c0z it was jst realy a joke2 lyk same sex! C0me on Edwin, you can be as mascular as them if onlyyou will try. If only God would shield me fr0m these gayishtemptati0ns... If only a fairy would wave her wand and in a minute ortwo i cn bec0me as hands0me as Sylvester Stall0ne! >>Read more
  • I was trying to prove to myself that I'm also someone that otherswould like. I'm tired of loving someone who doesn't love me. And also,I'm also tired of finding people whom I like and admire. Now, I wantto change the situation, I want others to like me, invite me for adate and admire me. I really have a desire to be in the right direction, but... >>Read more
  • Today, I realized that chatting will not do me any good. You can meetmany people but all of them are just temporary for they also aretrapped in this chat addiction like me. Yesterday, I did a very badthing on chat (secret)! >>Read more
  • Last night I was so bored,as usual, and so I chatted and made joke onmy chatmates and jokingly asked if they could come over to my placeand there was a chatmate who is younger than me really made it seriousand he slept in my place. That person happens to be a stage actor,former Star Circle cntestant and a friend of Kris Aquino and TuesdayVargas. Well, I think he is a rich person coz he said he stays at theEmerald Mansion in Ortigas. He is nice! >>Read more >>Read more
  • We met with my girlfriend and we watched at the new Gateway Mall inAraneta Center and the theater is so nice and high-tech and also theTaco Bell is so delicious which is a treat from my gf whom I helped totroubleshoot her PC via phone. >>Read more
  • But, I'm afraid about what I'm doing.. what if thatthief returns to me and threats me coz of what I'm doing or what ifthat thief use my data in the SIM and MMC in my cellphone (there arelot of pics and movies there that should be kept confidential). >>Read more
  • Last Friday, we (Joe -- my new friend, and I) were so early going towork. >>Read more
  • Please help me taste thelife of rich people. >>Read more
  • I also realized today that I have no rightto be in heaven because of the too many sins I have committed. >>Read more
  • Im so tired of waiting that I no longer hope that there is still hope for me and my family. >>Read more
  • The more you give, the more you will receive. Opening you doors to others means the world is also openinggreat opportunities for you. >>Read more
  • Im not sure what this means? It was inserted in the middleof the code. >>Read more
  • "Mkt-acct-lagun- how-mla- cubao-met-acci-joll- FUE-std- Valenzuela-may- Yahoo-magnana- Letan-6"

Lord, Please help me find my original self.

Until now, Im still in the middle of self-realization and I come to askquestions below:Im really feel confused on what to do today? Im confused on what direction my life is taking?Im afraid of what will happen to my mom now that she is sick again?Im troubled whenever I think of the four years I have been disoriented?Im regretful of the time I have wasted?I feel pity whenever I think of my family, my brothers and sisters?I grow lonely each day as I continue to walk without direction in my life.Where do I want to go? Why do I live in this world? what should I do and whatI should have done? what's the significance of my life? Is there something I ammissing which makes it so difficult to advance to next phases of my life?When I was a child, I dreamt of just being a teacher.... now Im an engineer!when I was in high school, I asked God, please let me be a valedictorian, andHe did made me one. I promised this is the last thing I will ever ask.But when I graduated in high school, prayer and faith in God saved me. Godgave the scholarship... maybe its the answer my prayers. I often said to myself"Kung gusto talaga ako ng Diyos na makatulong sa pamilya ko...". I often silently say this whenever I feel hopeless to reach my dreams in life. But Godhas been so nice to me. When Im in college, I asked God to make me a Cum Laude...He did helped me again. Though I promised thats the last thing I will ask fromHim, He still give me more and never returns my promises. During those hardships,I often say "Lord, kayo na lang po nagmamahal sa akin." I often feel reliefwhenever I virtually accept that there is still someone loving me which is God.But then, after graduation till now, my life has changed. Before, I was sodependent on God's comfort through prayers and meditation, but I even hatelistening to his words. Before, I love to read the bible hoping it will help mefinish my studies, but now the bible I used to read has been covered with dust.Before, I always think for the welfare of my family and I even dedicate to them why Im doing all this, but now I am more on working just for the happiness andpleasure of myself. WHY????????????????????????? I want to change and go back tomy old self... HOW????????????????????? The people, the workplace, the influences,the technologies, the culture and everything has engulfed my original self andhas transformed me into a little devil which is slowly growing as each day passes.Im so afraid about what my life will be. Im happy to what Im doing right nowbut I think I will be more happy if what Im doing is what Im supposed to bedoing based on my original self. Lord, Please help me find my original self. >>Read diary

Friday, January 20, 2006

Palace in the Sky: What a wonderful nature!

Right now, I am really very confused about my life... I even bought a book entitled "PurposeDriven Life by Rick Warren". The book which I suppose to read day by day until the 40th day is really full of life's lessons on how to live life here on Earth with purpose. Last Saturday,I decided to meet my friend and we went to Tagaytay. The funny thing about this is that I (we) never planned to go there! And everything else happened spontaneously...It's about 10:30pm when me and my friend met in Baclaran. My friend is kinda not feeling well cozwhen they went to Glorietta he lost it and doesn't know the suspect except the childrwan who suspuciously approached them while eating ice cream at the prestigious mall in Makati. "Are you reallydetermined to go there?", he asked. Since we haven't met each other for a long time and I haven't beento Tagaytay, I said yes. After waiting about an hour waiting for a bus, we were able to ride a mini-busand as we climb up or go straight up to the Tagaytay, it's feelin cold. Another funny thing aboutthis adventure is that we don't know where to get off the bus and we don't know where to stay butIm not bothered. When we saw an Internet cafe, we tried to browse for hotels in Tagaytay and wefound three hotels and took note of their contents and we will try to call them when we get out ofthe cafe. "Dito yata tayo magpapa-umaga sa cafe eh...", he jokingly said. After two hours of browsingand chatting and finding the hotels whe wish to stay for the night, we then went out and started towalk coz there are no more vehicles and its really dark in that place that we don't know butwe're sure its Tagaytay already but its a commercial place actually and no Tagaytay view can be seenthere. While we are walking in the Manila route, we saw an apartelle and there we stayed for thenight! Next morning we are planning to Tour places like "Palace in the Sky" and other interesting placesin the tagaytay which we saw in the Internet. Next morning comes, Sunday, March 07, 2004. On our way to eat our breakfast in Chowking in Olivarez,we met some person named Ruel "Totoy" Pamplona and he showed and offered us a package tour toTaal Volcano. The package included the transpo to the resort below tagaytay (i think Batangas area), boat ride to the foot of Taal Volcano and back and forth. Totoy who is a registered tour guide and atthe same time, a tricycle driver, also toured us to the "Palace in the Sky" before we went to Silangto withdraw some money before we go to Taal Volcano. At the "Palace in the Sky", we we're feeling cold coz we don't have any bonet or sweat shirt or jacketcoz it's really an unplanned adventure!!! The most fascinating thing we experienced while on top of that mountain is the very strong wind that carries a white cloud. "When I ride an airplane I am whishing totouch a cloud but now they are the ones touching my body", I said. On that Palace in the Sky, youcan view the swirling clouds or fog, and be able to see the view of the Taal Volcano and the lake.Its really a breath-taking view. A lot of foreigners also go there. The place is somewhat safe andtagaytay locals are somewhat educated in tourism. On top you can see a shrine, a cellsite, an oldbuilding, a wishing well ("better life" is my wish), a store (we bought bonet and cap), and a statue. The place is like the city in Lord of the Rings moview which is is located on top of a mountain.Now the most exciting part is when we went to Taal Volcano!!!After about 20 minute tricycle ride from Tagaytay, we reached the resort in Batangas near a place called Lemery. Small boats and cottages and foreigners and tourists are visible in the area.From the cottage, we can see the very beautiful view of the Taal volcano and and the lake wherewe are going to tour. With a life jacket, the two of us and our tricycle driver and the boat driverstarted our way. At first the trip was good only that we are advised to cover ourselves with araincoat. At the middle of the lake, splashes and big splashes of big waves come our faces. Atfirst, I just laughed but then as we pass the center of the lake, the waves gets stronger and morewater gets splashed into our body. "Ok lang po tayo Manong?", my friends asked. "Ok lang yan, walapa ngay yan tsaka apat lang tayo, Mas delikado pag mga syam tayo", he said to calm us both. Butthen I'm really feeling so scared and would rather stop the boat or go back... I suddenly remembermy mom, dad and bro whom I left in tha haus without telling them that Im going in this kind ofadventure. I suddenly think what if this boat sunk in the middle of this lake and nobody to save us.What if this boat sunk... what will happen to my cellphone and money.... what will happen to myfamily (except from getting money from my sunlife insurance)...how will I tell i get closer againto my family (coz i've been neglecting them)... how will i do things I still want to do...After all this toughts and as waves grows stronger and both of us getting wet in the middle of thelake, I just stayed calm and prayed "Our Father" and "I Believe in God". These prayers and thetoughts of loving my family and work and be nice to everybody when I return safely back home arethe things I promised. Noe, I realized that I must love the people beside me and not just treatthem like ordinary humans. Now, excietd again after that scary and thrilling boating, we are now horse back riding to the top andcrater of the the taal volcano. Here in this village, people get money from tourists. People raisehorses and make boats for tourism. The way to the taal crater is so dusty and steep so you have tohold on to the horse firmly. As I ride the horse with my horse driver "winlove" going to the crater,I suddenly feel the misery and simple life and hard life that the people there are experiencing. Theway is so full of dusts (a little like a desert Afghanistan place). As we reached the cottage nearthe taal volcano crater, our tour guides were given drinks separate from our package tour payment.Only thing I noticed here is that people ask when they want something. "Sir baka gusto nyo po pamiryendahin ang horse guide nyo". I can't complain so I gave them 20 pesos for a coke. It's strangebut these people are accustomed to such ways maybe because of foreigners who are kind to them."Wow, this place is so wonderful!", i said to my friend when we saw the taal volcano crater -- a crater overlooking from top filled with green colored water, with a basin like structure just like a small lake that you won't expect that it's once a hot and lave filled volcano crater.Plants, trees, uwaks (crows) an other ecosystem thrives in the area showing a calm and maybe deadvolcano living or resting underneath. What a place to take pictures! Foreigners also enjoy seeingthe place just like us. As I focus myself on the lake Im wondering what's in there, how deep it was, why is it not hot (or is not?), and so on.... What a wonderful nature!Going back, the funny thing again is the horse back riding coz the horse is running while goin downthe slope and its shaking my body and my "....". But its really fun and Im kinda like a "cowboy"riding and raising in the slopes of the taal volcano. Then, we went to the back trip via boat butthis time prayers have saved me again... promising to be nice and make my life worthy when I safelyreturn. with total darkness on the way up to Tagaytay city proper, we were so silent and tired as ourtricycle roars its strong engine as if there is no stopping point. Then we bought some presents and eatand ride a jeepney (not an airconditioned bus) co its cold there at night! Truly, this adventure is another unforgettable experience in my life. Thanks God!This morning, as I write this diary, Im feeling glad about what's happening in my life. Right now,I feel good and feel better with my relationship with my family an people behind me. Its not only because of the adventure I just had in Tagaytay but most of all the hope of finding my true self againas I have just finished reading the book on "Purpose Driven Life". Yes, Im currently thinking ofmy real purpose in life....As I read the book on my way to work this morning, I was touched by its lessons such as:- Our life on earth is not the end coz we sttill have life after death which is in eternity.- Every single thing that we do on Earth sommehow touches a chord that vibrates in eternity.Knowing that life doesn't end here on Earth, evry human must make every second well spent and thatknowing that everything we do would have consequences in our after-earth life, Im again back to mynormal thinking and wiwshing God would touch me, guide me, teach me and lead me to the right direction.Lord please forgive me and make me your servant....By the way, i had a question in mind... "If it is true that everyone of us has an eternal life,how many souls can the eternal heaven accomodate?"Or is it right to think that our souls is a part of central energy source or a central soul. In thisway we will not think of life as individuals anymore. >>Read more

Nokia 3660 camera+organizer+phone

Im so fortunate to have time again to write my experiences. I think I really have many thingsto say. So many new things have happened to me both in lovelife and in material world. One thing,I was able to buy a new Nokia 3660 camera+organizer+phone in one sleek and nice looking phone.Through this, I get acquainted with some friends including someone from a near city who's saying that I'm her boyfriend already though I'm not saying it. However, I get guilty feelingeverytime I text her after she had miscalled me 20 times. That's how she is in love with me.Last Saturday, I met someone and we went to Star City and went home the next day. It was the mostenjoying and unforgettable experience I had not to mention the super mabait and daling kausap ng tao.Im so glad I have new friends to cherish and a family to go home after work. My Mom and bro is withme and Im so glad about it. My bro helps me in manning the computer shop while my Mom takes careof the food and everything. At least, right now Im feeling I have a little freedom to do what I wantwithout worrying so much on spendings coz I have a little business and a little stable job. Speakingof job, Im thinking of transferring to private company somewhere in Makati maybe after NetMon hasbeen released. I just can't have motivation to stay especially when the promotion is so slow. >>Read more >>Another related diary

My mom, my lovelife, my business, my problems, my plans... hello 2004!

Walang tulugan! It's already 3:40am of the 1st day of year 2004 (year of the monkey). Well where do I start writing? My mom, my lovelife, my business, my problems, my plans, huhuhh... too many to write about. Well, this is the best time to write my first diary of the new year and im also still testing the "WinRoute" software i just installed to share internet in our computer shop. Im so happy it worked and Im currently using it together with my customers for the first time. It's cool and easy to use! While my neighbors are breaking their eardrums and polluting the air with the fireworks, me and my brother (Rammel) is configuring our Internet connection so that we can make full use of our dial-up connection to Tri-isys. Now, I finally find the right software!

My mom has just left us but she stayed here for the Christmas celebration. I missed her cooked Spaghetti last noche buena. Well, while my brother takes care of manning the shop, Im also busy cooking our food for a simple new year celebration. The spaghetti i cooked? It was so terrible! (overcooked pasta, totong na sauted ingredients heheheheh, its the first time I cooked and celebrated the new year with food). My family don't usually celebrate this events coz we dont have money for it. Right now, eventhough we have short budget, I decided to spend some for the celebration and for a change!My lovelife??? There was this girl from somewhere who really loves me (not realy sure) but she have been so persistent as if she was courting me. For the last three months she even continuously texted me even if Im just ignoring her. Until today she even invited me after I have "denied" her invitation to meet yesterday. Oh my! Why am I doing this? "Bakit Pa Ba?" by Jay-R really expresses what I feel for her. Im not sure if im going to fall in love with her coz of so many reasons most of which my personal reasons not really about her. I just feel so guilty right now that I make her "paasa" so much... Who knows what's gonna happen to both of us! Only God knows and if He will permit, I'll be open for the possible relationship and to have my first serious lovelife.

>>Read more

How come I going to Thailand where in fact I was just been in

"Edwin, alam mo ikaw ang sasama sa Thailand for the training?", I rememberedDondon telling me about it. I know about the Thailand training but I don't easily get the point why Im going there. Ivy and Dondon was originally the two persons from ASTI to attend the training. But now Ivy is leaving ASTI soshe will no longer be sent for training. Now, Im the substitute to Ivy. I saw an email going to Pensri of Thailand from Sir Denis. Sir Denis advisesPensri that I will be going with Dondon to Thailand instead of Ivy. At firstIm not happy with the email knowing the privilege and opportunity to attenda free and all expense paid training in Asian Institute of Technology. I thought it was just another "false" notification. It's so because I'msupposed to go to Vietnam last September I think on AI3's meeting. I evenhave an invitation for that and Sir Denis even told me that AI3 is interestedin nominating a vice chair for the Network measurements working group. Duringthat I was so happy with Sir Denis' news and more intensified with the copy of invitation letter I received. Im so glad that I was invited together withSir Denis and Sir Josel to attend the meeting in Vietnam. I was really expectingthat I will go to Vietnam! But plans have changed and I don't understandwhy I was not permitted to travel... I was so disappointed with it. You knowthat could have been the first time Im going to Vietnam and join a meetingwith fellow researchers in Japan and the Asia Pacific countries. I feel so privilege seeing the invitation and the opportunity... But it never came true! >>Read more

Lord Kayo na Po ang Bahala Sa Akin

Today, I woke up with a little enthusiasm to go to work! Hope there are stillmany customers who would want to give computer services just like yesterday.Well, while on my way to ASTI today, I think of who I am and where Im fromand what's the behaviour I should have towards life. I just throught "Lord, hindi ko hinahangad na magkamit ng anumang napakataas na status ng buhay dahilalam ko kahit di ko ito makamit alam ko na galing lang naman ako sa isang ordinaryong buhay at sanay na po ako sa ganitong buhay mula pa ng bata ako. Ako po ay natutuwa dahil ako po ay nakarating sa ganitong antas ng buhay at sana po ako ay bigyan nyo pa ng sapat na lakas at talino para malampasan koang lahat ng pagsubok na dumarating sa aking buhay." As I walk from CP Garciagoing to ASTI, I feel the lightness in me... as if I bypassed my worries inlife. I remember from the Bible that worrying will not do anything good to us.So, as I always pray "Lord, kayo na po ang bahala sa akin... ipinauubaya ko napo ang lahat sainyo. Maraming salamat po sa lahat at sana po ako ay inyongpatawarin dahil po ako ay napaka-sama at napaka-makasalanan... hindi ko na pohinahangad na makarating sainying kaharian sapagkat alam ko na ako'y di na karapat-dapat. Sana po ako ay inyong tulungang magbago tungo sa ikakabuti ngaking sarili, ng aking pamilya, ng ibang tao, ng aking bayan, at maging ngbuong mundo. Sana po ituro nyo sa akin ang lahat ng dapat gawin. Ako po aynalulungkot dahil ayoko po masayang ang aking buhay... tulungan nyo po akomaging kapaki-pakinabang at mamuhay ng ayon sainyong kagustuhan. Lord, sabihinnyo lang po ang mga dapat kong gawin at susundin ko po ito ayon sainyongkalooban. Akin pong natatandaan na ganito po ang palagi kong hinihingi sainyo mula pa noong nag-aaral pa ako... at ako po'y di nyo pinabayaan at bagkusbinigyan nyo ng pag-asa at ginabayan sa lahat ng pakikibaka sa buhay. Lord,gusto ko po bumali sa ganoong buhay -- simple, mapakumbaba, di magastos,matipid, di maluho, di makamundo, at higit sa lahat may takot sa Diyos. >>Read more

The Difference between OLD and NEW Edwin D. Vinas

After a very adventurous weekend, here I am again in this place we call "workplace". While I was on my way here to ASTI, I feel quite worried about money due to delayed MC and delayed 13th month pay in my previous employer. But I still managed to be cool! So, I started my day by ordering breakfast and after that reading my emails especially those from our batchmates mailing lists. Im so glad I found the emails of my classmates last week through Serfa Juan and Liza. Now, I fell so happy everytime they email through our tup_ece_2000@yahoogroups.com mailing list. Before, I can't talk to them as I feel Im out of the group. Now, I already have the strength to communicate with them. I laughed when I saw after a long time my classmates who even have babies already! Good bless us batchmates!One thing that made my morning turn out to a moody & sad is when I read the news about ASTI complaining to DBM about its decreased yearly budget. I was thinking, If this is the company that I will work with for the rest of my life, how can I foresee my self here. Can I improve here? Can I help my family raise up from poverty while working here? Can I send Rammet to college by working here? Can I be one of the richest person in the world by working here? Can I really produce R&D outputs worthy of government funding? Can I be able to build a house for my mother to appreciate while she is still living? And lastly, will ASTi really recognize me as a researcher? Right now, I feel like Im working in a company (gov't company) with unsure future! With the government's dwindling funding, you cannot say ASTI will be able to help its employees obtain a higher paying job or even support a sustainable research and development activities. Aside from this, I feel like Im working with myself only. Im alone here working on things that a few others appreciate. How can I be so productive if Im only a one-man team and other people especially my superior doesn't guide me towards a direction?It is not only ASTI that pre-occupies me... I also take problematically the things happening in my environment... no to mention, the very expensive house rents, the unstable economy, the increasing traffic problems, the increasing food prices, and most of all, the family responsibility which I haven't fulfilled yet. Describing myself before and now... BEFORE... we live in my province where we have a poor life but can still survive without going so immersed in work at least 12 hours a day. Before, I can still talk with my family as real family but now Im so far with them... can even feel they still love me. Before I still take it easy even if we're poor but now, I become so complex that cannot pass the day without playing computer games... watching tv... texting/chatting till contented...or goign out to the mall with someone! I feel so complex now and the simple life I used to have before is gone now! NOW... I feel so different that even my personal life seems is no longer normal. NOW... there's not a second of day that I don't worry about money, about the house rent, about the traffic, about the economy and most fo all, about my future! As I think through my life's and the world's complexity, I can't help but say "Life is really full of uncertainties! So let's not waste any of our time! Let's help each other to make this place a better place to live in!". >>Read more

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I'm no longer expecting I can still attain my dreams andambitions coz I'm such a sinner, lazy and easy-go-lucky-type-of-personnow! The old Edwin who lives in spartan way is now always eating inexpensive food outlets and no longer care to cook! The old Edwin whodoesn't value good looks and external personality is now so "ma-arte"that he can't even leave the house without a cologne, gel in hair andnice clothes! The old Edwin who fears God is now fearless. The oldEdwin who cries due to life's misery is now the Edwin who criesbecause of frustrations in love that's actually not good in God andhuman's eyes. The old Edwin is now trying to get back the old Edwinwho has perseverance, energetic and victorious attitude.... >>Read more