The Difference between OLD and NEW Edwin D. Vinas

After a very adventurous weekend, here I am again in this place we call "workplace". While I was on my way here to ASTI, I feel quite worried about money due to delayed MC and delayed 13th month pay in my previous employer. But I still managed to be cool! So, I started my day by ordering breakfast and after that reading my emails especially those from our batchmates mailing lists. Im so glad I found the emails of my classmates last week through Serfa Juan and Liza. Now, I fell so happy everytime they email through our tup_ece_2000@yahoogroups.com mailing list. Before, I can't talk to them as I feel Im out of the group. Now, I already have the strength to communicate with them. I laughed when I saw after a long time my classmates who even have babies already! Good bless us batchmates!One thing that made my morning turn out to a moody & sad is when I read the news about ASTI complaining to DBM about its decreased yearly budget. I was thinking, If this is the company that I will work with for the rest of my life, how can I foresee my self here. Can I improve here? Can I help my family raise up from poverty while working here? Can I send Rammet to college by working here? Can I be one of the richest person in the world by working here? Can I really produce R&D outputs worthy of government funding? Can I be able to build a house for my mother to appreciate while she is still living? And lastly, will ASTi really recognize me as a researcher? Right now, I feel like Im working in a company (gov't company) with unsure future! With the government's dwindling funding, you cannot say ASTI will be able to help its employees obtain a higher paying job or even support a sustainable research and development activities. Aside from this, I feel like Im working with myself only. Im alone here working on things that a few others appreciate. How can I be so productive if Im only a one-man team and other people especially my superior doesn't guide me towards a direction?It is not only ASTI that pre-occupies me... I also take problematically the things happening in my environment... no to mention, the very expensive house rents, the unstable economy, the increasing traffic problems, the increasing food prices, and most of all, the family responsibility which I haven't fulfilled yet. Describing myself before and now... BEFORE... we live in my province where we have a poor life but can still survive without going so immersed in work at least 12 hours a day. Before, I can still talk with my family as real family but now Im so far with them... can even feel they still love me. Before I still take it easy even if we're poor but now, I become so complex that cannot pass the day without playing computer games... watching tv... texting/chatting till contented...or goign out to the mall with someone! I feel so complex now and the simple life I used to have before is gone now! NOW... I feel so different that even my personal life seems is no longer normal. NOW... there's not a second of day that I don't worry about money, about the house rent, about the traffic, about the economy and most fo all, about my future! As I think through my life's and the world's complexity, I can't help but say "Life is really full of uncertainties! So let's not waste any of our time! Let's help each other to make this place a better place to live in!". >>Read more

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I'm no longer expecting I can still attain my dreams andambitions coz I'm such a sinner, lazy and easy-go-lucky-type-of-personnow! The old Edwin who lives in spartan way is now always eating inexpensive food outlets and no longer care to cook! The old Edwin whodoesn't value good looks and external personality is now so "ma-arte"that he can't even leave the house without a cologne, gel in hair andnice clothes! The old Edwin who fears God is now fearless. The oldEdwin who cries due to life's misery is now the Edwin who criesbecause of frustrations in love that's actually not good in God andhuman's eyes. The old Edwin is now trying to get back the old Edwinwho has perseverance, energetic and victorious attitude.... >>Read more