I am your son but you're not my father

My father is my number one enemy at home. Eventhough he also do good to me but he is more of a shame-causing to our family. I hate him not because he is ignorant but because he is very irresponsible parent or let say; irresponsible man. These days, I still call him "Pa" but in my heart I did not felt that he is my father. I am treating him as a domestic animal. I know that what I am doing and so shameful to the people observing me but it is more shameful to treat him as a father-- is he a father that he didn't even show his well being father to me? That is why, I have regreted opn respecting him. As today, I'm already feeling that I have no more father. But you know, I think this hatred of mine will be relieved if himself will change. A change in his whole life that his family will be brought into a dignified one.

"Whatever your parent's personality, they're still your father or mother. They're the ones who gave you life that in turn, you will exchange it with love and everlasting caring to them." This brief statements are what I usually heard from some people. You know, they're wrong because is it necessary for the parents to just give life only in birth not in their whole child's life? This situation is what I am already experiencing. I have gone into a conclusion that my parents just gave me life (including my brothers and sisters) at the start. Yes, the gave me a chance to see the world but the world they gave me is not comfortable. We are living in a miserable life and I was asking "Why did my parents gave me life--- a life that will only suffer?"

As parents, they must show their responsibility to their children from the very start up to the time that their child can already stand on its own.


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Taken from the Unthinkable Thoughts Volume 1
Written on September 18, 1994
Encoded this January 11, 2006 by EDV